Lavender:A MerDer Story
by Arwengiverney
Summary: Set after name Of The Game, but minus a few things, this story will follow MerDer's relationship, and how others react to them
1. Chapter 1

Alrighty, people, this is my first ever fanfic, so be gentle. Yes, its a Mer/Der (Is there any other sort?). Also, the events in my story sort of pick up after the episode, "Name of the Game", but there is no extra family for Mer.

oh yeah, and I don't own anything Grey's Anatomy. If I did, this is what would happen:

Chapter One:

Meredith lent back against the shower wall. The bottle of lavender conditioner slipped from her hand as she struggled to fight off the overwhelming desire to sleep. 'Five minutes, Grey, just five damn minutes to get out of the shower, and into bed, ok?" She muttered to herself.  
The bathroom door swung open, Izzie's blonde head appearing through the steam. She raised her eyebrows.

"You talking to yourself, Mer, or are you hiding someone in there?"  
Meredith jumped. "Just- just talking to myself. Pass me the towel, if you're not going to leave."  
Izzie handed her the towel. "So... you had a rough day. Wanna talk?"  
"I don't know- are you going to take sides?" Meredith replied bitterly. She instantly bit her tongue.  
Izzie flinched. "Yeah, I deserved that. I'm sorry, Mer. I was so busy worrying about George, I forgot about you. Friends?"

She held out her arms for a hug. Meredith sighed, and nodded.  
"But I'm not hugging you til I'm dressed. Speaking of which. Have you seen my Dartmouth shirt?"  
Izzie crinkled her nose, grabbing a toothbrush. She squirted some toothpaste on it, thinking. "I think it's in the loungeroom. Why do you wear that thing anyway?"

Meredith yawned, as another wave of tiredness swept over her. "Oh. No reason. It's just comfy, ok?".  
She left Izzie brushing her teeth, and stumbled into her bedroom. Too tired to bother going downstairs for the shirt, she lay down on the bed wearing only her towel, and was asleep in seconds.

Izzie walked into the room a few minutes later, holding the Dartmouth shirt, and laughed. Meredith was curled into a ball, towel wrapped tightly around her. She was snoring lightly, and had her pillow bunched under her arm. A fresh sprig of lavender lay on the bed beside her. Izzie sighed. No matter how many times Meredith said she was fine, Izzie realised she was lying.

"Night, Mer" Izzie whisper as she turned off the light, leaving the shirt on the bed.  
She walked to her room, and picked up the phone. Quickly dialling a number, she crawled into bed waiting on a answer.  
Finally, someone picked up.  
"Hey, you there? Good. We have a problem."

"Grey! O'malley! Stevens! Yang! Karev! What the hell are you doing!"  
The five interns jumped.

"Er, we were, I mean we weren't doing anything, Dr. Bailey, sir, I mean, m'am." George stumbled.

"Exactly! You are interns, not sloths, you are meant to be doing things!"

"We were waiting for you" Alex spoke up, earning him a glare from the Nazi.

"Can't think for yourselves, people? Fine. O'malley, you're with Burke, you too Chistina; Stevens, I want you monitoring Denny, Karev- you got the female Shepherd; Grey- the male one. Move it people!"

"Wow, think the baby kept her up all night?" Christina muttered to George as they walked away.

"I kinda like sloths, you know. Cute and furry." George ran a hand threw his hair, which was now cut properly.

Christina threw him a look.  
"Alright, bambi, you finally got laid. I mean, by someone not emotionally unstable."

George twitched at the mention of Meredith, but grinned anyway. "Yeah, maybe. You know where she lives? Right here! How dedicated is that?"

Christina snorted.  
"Sure. Dedicated- or pathetic. Whatever."

Meredith hurried to the elevator, throwing herself in just as the doors slammed shut. She hit the one person standing in there.

"Well, good morning to you too, Dr Grey. Running late?"

"Actually I was looking for you. Bailey's assigned me to you."

Derek grinned, his whole face lighting up. "Great. let's have some fun then, hey."

Meredith made a face at him. "So it's a fun case, then?"

Derek grinned. "Oh, are we talking about work? Right, what is my case about?" He pretended to look over his files, as they both laughed.

The doors opened, revealing Addision. She took in the giggling pair, distain on her face. Alex stood behind her, winking at Meredith. She scowled at him.

"You going up?" Derek asked innocently, nodding to his wife.  
"Down, actually. You?"  
He sighed. "Up. Guess you're catching the next one, hey?"

The look on Addision's face was priceless, as the doors shut in her face.

Meredith burst out laughing, then forced herself to stop.  
"Stop. Um, as a friend, can I ask what that was about?"

Derek smiled. "Oh, trust me, as a friend, you'd hate me if I told you."  
Meredith's eyebrows left up.  
"Oh, now you have to tell me. Please?"

Derek laughed. "How can I resist those eyes?" He grinned at her, and Meredith realised how close they were standing. She smiled back, feeling overwhelmed.  
The doors pinged open, and the moment was broken.

"Right" Derek cleared his throat. "Let's get to work, hey?"  
"Yes, Dr. Shepherd."  
They walked off to the patient's room, glancing at each other quickly.

"So, Dr Mongomery-Shepherd."  
"Shepherd. Just Dr. Shepherd, ok? I am married to Derek Shepherd, so my name is Shepherd."  
Alex held up his hands.  
"Alright. I surrender. Dr Shepherd it is."

Addision sighed. "Just go get those labs, alright? I'll be here when you get back."  
Alex sped away, relieved to escape the tension that had been radiating from Addision since the elevator incident.

Addision sighed, rubbing her forehead. Damn her husband, and all the interns. What was Derek's problem? First he refuses sex for almost two weeks, and now he's flirting with Meredith, and shunning her again?

"What have I done this time?" She muttered.

"Well you're standing in my way, for starters." Came an unexpected voice.

Addison looked up. "Oh god, Mark, what the hell are you doing here?"

Mark held his hands up in a similar gesture to Alex. "Nothing to do with you, Addy. I get it- you're in love with a man who's in love with an intern who's in love with him. Whatever makes you happy. I'm here on a case. But I am willing to woo you, if you feel like it"

Addision glared at him.

"Just stay away from Derek, ok. I don't need him upset right now."

Mark raised his eyebrows. "Ok. But before you walk away, I have something important to tell you. It's about Meredith's mother."


	2. Chapter 2

Addison stared at Mark, startled by his news. Then she smiled.

"Thank you Mark. That's very interesting. Excellent, in fact."

Mark frowned. "Hey, I'm trusting you here. One professional to another. Don't go all Mr. Burns on me."

Addison was distracted from her thoughts. "All Mr. Who?"

"You know- Mr Burns, from the Simpsons? Kinda evil, says 'excellent' in a really creepy way, just like you did."

Addison raised her eyebrows. "You're comparing me to a cartoon character? How very fifth grade of you."

Mark smirked. "You love it. Or at least you did back home." He glanced out the window, at the morning view of Seattle. "Aren't you missing New York? The one place on earth you ever wanted to live in?"

Addison made a face. "Oh course I am. This place... I hate this place. When my contracts up, Derek and I are moving home."

Mark stared at her. "And have you told him this?"

Addsion shifted, uncomfortable. "He's a New Yorker. Genetically engineered to hate anywhere but New York. He probably wants it as much as I do."

Mark smirked again. "Sure he does. Only problem, whats the chances of Dr. Grey getting transferred out there as well?"

The slap came out of nowhere. Mark staggered back a little, rubbing his stinging face. "Damn, what is it with this place? Does the watrer have some sort of violence-triggering chemical in it?"

Addison glared at him. "Just go away, Mark."

She stormed off, just as Alex came tearing round the corner, labs in hand.

"Dr Mont- Dr. Shepherd! I have the- um, you're leaving. Right, I'll just... stand here. Like an idiot. Ok" He noticed Dr. Sloan.

"Hey, dude, you're back! Great. Explains the Phantom of the Opera act from the lovely Dr. Shepherd. Should I follow her?"

Mark whistled. "Not if you value any part of your male anatomy. She's out for blood."

Alex chuckled. "Right. Well, I guess that leaves me short of a case."

"Hey, stick with me, then. I got one you'll find most fascinating."

"Um, Dr. Shepherd. I have the test results for Mrs. Vern. Did you wish to look at them?"

Derek grinned. "Oh so formal aren't we? Yes, Dr. Grey, I do wish to look at them, how about over a cup of coffee?" He said in a terrible British accent.

Meredith laughed. "You don't do accents. But why not, if the coffee's on you."

Derek shook his head. "Women. All the same- they'll bleed you dry."

Moustache

They wandered into the courtyard, coffees in hand, and selected a table.

Meredith sat quietly, sipping her coffee as Derek read through the results. Every now and again, he made a little 'hum' or 'erm' noise with his throat. She giggled. Derek looked up, his eyes sparkling. "What? Do I look that funny?"

"No, its the noises. Every time you read something good, you go 'hum'. Something not too good gets a little 'erm'. Its endearing, really."

Derek smiled, blushing a little. "You noticed, huh. Well, don't get toococky. When you're worrying, you chew on your bottom lip. I always know when you're upset, because your lip gets a little swollen."

Meredith laughed, nodding. "Hey, when you're upset, your hair gets flat. Like you just don't care enough to put all that gel in it."

Derek shook his head. "Seriously? Give me your hand."

Meredith laughed. "Why?"

"Just do it. Come on, I don't bite... in public." Meredith rolled her eyes, but put out her hand anyway.

Derek held it in his, stoking the palm gently. Meredith shivered slightly, despite the warm day. Derek didn't notice, so absorbed in touching her.

"When you are sad," he sad so softly, Meredith had to lean in to hear him," you're hands get cold and rough. When you're happy, they're warm and smooth." He kept stroking her hand, and Meredith stared at him, trembling. He looked p, and they both felt a shock wave as their eyes met. Derek knew he should back away, but somehow he felt stuck, like he wouldn't move ever again. And he realised, he'd be happy if he never had to end this moment.

"Dr. Grey! Let go of my husband!" Came a shrill voice. They both jumped, Derek losing his hold on Meredith's hand. Addison stood right next to them, glaring. Derek shook himself, and glanced around. Luckily the courtyard was empty, save for the three of them.

"Addison, Mer wasn't holding me. I was just reading her palm. Apparently she is going to live to one hundred and three, have five kids and go sailing."

Meredith bit her lip to keep from laughing. She was still shaking a little. Addison glanced between the two, sure something was going on.

"Fine, whatever. Just wanted to say I'm going home. Maybe you could get off early? We can pick up where we left off" She suggested slyly, moving in closer to her husband. Meredith looked uncomfortable. Derek moved back.

"Um, i doubt it. This case looks pretty bad. I think she's going to need some pretty extensive surgery. Might last for a while."

Addison stepped back. "Right. Well, I'll see you at Ihome/I, anyway, honey."

Derek smiled a little at her. "Of course."

Addison left.

Derek turned to Meredith. "Sorry about that."

"So, lying to your wife. Nice. This all part of that thing you won't tell me about?"

Derek rubbed his face, looking tired. "Yeah, pretty much."

Meredith felt concerned. "Sure you're ok?"

Derek smiled. "Hey, I get to spend the day with you. Of course I am."

Meredith raised her eyebrows at this outright flirting, but smiled anyway. Derek leaned close, and stared at her, intensely. He seemed about to kiss her, then pulled away. Meredith looked down.

"Back to work, then." Derek suggested. "But Bailey catches us, and puts us both on bedpan duty."

IOk, so its going slowly, but it will pick up soon, i promise. Next chapter will be special. You'll find out about the problem with Merediths mother, and why a plastic surgeon knows about it. And I'll


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two continued!

"Um, Dr. Shepherd. I have the test results for Mrs. Vern. Did you wish to look at them?"

Derek grinned. "Oh so formal aren't we? Yes, Dr. Grey, I do wish to look at them, how about over a cup of coffee?" He said in a terrible British accent.

Meredith laughed. "You don't do accents. But why not, if the coffee's on you."

Derek shook his head. "Women. All the same- they'll bleed you dry."

Moustache

They wandered into the courtyard, coffees in hand, and selected a table.

Meredith sat quietly, sipping her coffee as Derek read through the results. Every now and again, he made a little 'hum' or 'erm' noise with his throat. She giggled. Derek looked up, his eyes sparkling. "What? Do I look that funny?"

"No, its the noises. Every time you read something good, you go 'hum'. Something not too good gets a little 'erm'. Its endearing, really."

Derek smiled, blushing a little. "You noticed, huh. Well, don't get toococky. When you're worrying, you chew on your bottom lip. I always know when you're upset, because your lip gets a little swollen."

Meredith laughed, nodding. "Hey, when you're upset, your hair gets flat. Like you just don't care enough to put all that gel in it."

Derek shook his head. "Seriously? Give me your hand."

Meredith laughed. "Why?"

"Just do it. Come on, I don't bite... in public." Meredith rolled her eyes, but put out her hand anyway.

Derek held it in his, stoking the palm gently. Meredith shivered slightly, despite the warm day. Derek didn't notice, so absorbed in touching her.

"When you are sad," he sad so softly, Meredith had to lean in to hear him," you're hands get cold and rough. When you're happy, they're warm and smooth." He kept stroking her hand, and Meredith stared at him, trembling. He looked p, and they both felt a shock wave as their eyes met. Derek knew he should back away, but somehow he felt stuck, like he wouldn't move ever again. And he realised, he'd be happy if he never had to end this moment.

"Dr. Grey! Let go of my husband!" Came a shrill voice. They both jumped, Derek losing his hold on Meredith's hand. Addison stood right next to them, glaring. Derek shook himself, and glanced around. Luckily the courtyard was empty, save for the three of them.

"Addison, Mer wasn't holding me. I was just reading her palm. Apparently she is going to live to one hundred and three, have five kids and go sailing."

Meredith bit her lip to keep from laughing. She was still shaking a little. Addison glanced between the two, sure something was going on.

"Fine, whatever. I seem to be surrounded by fifth graders today. Just wanted to say I'm going home. Maybe you could get off early? We can pick up where we left off" She suggested slyly, moving in closer to her husband. Meredith looked uncomfortable. Derek moved back.

"Um, i doubt it. This case looks pretty bad. I think she's going to need some pretty extensive surgery. Might last for a while."  
Addison stepped back. "Right. Well, I'll see you at home, anyway, honey."

Derek smiled a little at her. "Of course."

Addison left.

Derek turned to Meredith. "Sorry about that."

"So, lying to your wife. Nice. This all part of that thing you won't tell me about?"

Derek rubbed his face, looking tired. "Yeah, pretty much."

Meredith felt concerned. "Sure you're ok?"

Derek smiled. "Hey, I get to spend the day with you. Of course I am."

Meredith raised her eyebrows at this outright flirting, but smiled anyway. Derek leaned close, and stared at her, intensely. He seemed about to kiss her, then pulled away. Meredith looked down.

"Back to work, then." Derek suggested. "Before Bailey catches us, and puts us both on bedpan duty."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Three

Addison stared at the OR Board. Actually, she glared at it. No where was Derek's name. She had gone home, but the trailer was so small, she thought she would go insane by herself. So she rang the hospital, but the damn nurse told her Derek was not accepting any calls. So she came in, to see when her husband would get out of surgery. Only, apparently, he was not in surgery.

He lied! She thought. Why would he lie to me?.

"You know, if you try just a little harder, I'm sure the board will go up in flames" Came a voice to her left.

Addison sighed.

"Mark, didn't i tell you to go away?"

"I did! You just happened to come the the place I went away to!It's not my fault!"

"Well, its a good thing I'm leaving then, isn't it?"

"Addison- wait. Listen, about what I said before- about Grey's mother. You haven't told anyone have you?"

Addison smiled. "Would I do that, Mark?"

Mark leveled a eye at her. "Yes, you would. My friend is working on her case here, so I need you to stay quiet, ok?"

Addison looked at him. "They're bringing her case to Seattle Grace? When?"

"Next week. I'll tell Meredith today. I don't think she knows."

Addison glanced around. "Mark, why don't we go talk about this somewhere else?"

Mark looked surprised. "Er... okay."

Addison smiled. "And you can tell me all about Ellis Grey, and what her chances of surviving this surgery are."

Meredith was sorting through some files when she hear the noise. She looked up, trying to identify the source of the strange sound.

"Psst! Mer!"

"What the?" She wondered aloud, glancing back and forth.

"In here! The closet!"

Meredith spun round, looking at the closet behind her. There was a small grill covering, and the voice seemed to be coming from there.

She frowned, and walked over, checking to see if anyone else was around.

The corridor was deserted. She pulled open the door, and someone grabbed her, pulling her in before she could scream.

"Don't yell! Its me- Derek."

Meredith glared at him. "What are you doing in a closet?" She hissed.

He grinned. 'Um... nothing. How's those labs going? Any news?'

Meredith shook her head. "The labs aren't back. And 'nothing' isn't an answer. What are you doing?"

Derek looked sheepish. "Er... I'm hiding from Addison. One of the nurses said she came back, looking for me. i think she knows I'm not in surgery."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Well, all she had to do was check the board. Your name isn't up there. And don't you think this is a little childish?"

Derek blushed. "Yes- childish, but necessary. "

Meredith looked at him.

"She's gone mad!" He whispered. "Always kissing me, and trying to do things with me, like go to dinner, and cuddle, and then she moves things in the trailer, and adds flowers, and cooks, and breathes, and makes the bed."

Meredith raised her eyebrows. "Yes. I think you mean she's happy. Not mad."

She was starting to feel uncomfortable. No matter how much she reassured herself she and Derek were just friends, she knew she was still in love with him. Discussing his wife was painful.

Derek looked at her. "But she can't be happy! I hate this! I don't want to kiss her! We haven't has sex in weeks, and I've never been so happy not to!"

Meredith began to back away. "Derek, maybe you should be discussing this with Addison, not me. Please. Anyone but me."

Derek grabbed her arm. "But i need to talk to you! You're the only one who gets me."

Meredith stared at him. "You don't get it, do you? This hurts! Talking to you about her hurts! Why are you doing this to me?"

Derek was quiet. "What if i told you I'm going to sign those papers?"

Meredith felt shocked. Then confused, and elated, and lost.

"The... the divorce papers?"

Derek nodded. "Thats why I dragged you in here. It's why I'm telling you all of this. I think i was trying to make you understand."

"Understand what?"

"Why I'm leaving her. I mean, this, all the coupley things she's doing with me- it should make me happy, right? I chose her. I picked her. But i don't love her. Not anymore. I thought i did, or would again, but I'm miserable."

Meredith's mouth dropped open. She was confused. He was.. leaving her? Almost a year later, and he was making the choice she'd wanted.

"Mer, I'm not expecting you to leap into my arms, but this is my speech to you. Just like the one you gave me in that OR. I'm asking you to try loving me again. To pick me, chose me, love me. I doubt you will, and I don't deserve it anyway, but I just need to tell you- I love you. And I'm sorry. And even if you say no, I'm going to keep chasing you. I'll let you beat me up with those ineffectual fists of yours if it will help. Anything. I'll wait a day, a week, a month, a year- forever. But I'll wait for you."

Meredith stared at him. He seemed about to cry, and he kept looking down, afraid to look at her. She thought for a moment.

"You didn't mention cheesecake. Or a radio, or pretending to like my taste in music.' She said eventually. "So, really, my speech was a lot better than yours."

Derek looked up, hope in his eyes. "Yes, you're right. Do you want me to try again?"

Meredith hesitated. She was either about to put her heart on the line, or walk away from this whole problem forever.

"Yes. i do. I'll give you a week. Sign the papers, talk with Addison, and try again. Then- then we'll see."

Derek's whole face lit up. He reached for her, but Meredith jumped back. She was not sure she was doing the right thing.

"One week, Derek." She walked out of the closet, her head spinning.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Four**  
Derek sat in his trailer, staring at his hands. His mind was full, as he contemplated everything that was happening.  
He was alone, Addison having not returned from the hospital for the day. He felt relieved, and guilty, as he had put off the inevitable confrontation with her for a day now.

His head throbbed. How on earth do I tell her? 'Honey, I know you're happy, but I want a divorce?' "Hey, babe, instead of cuddling in bed, you wanna sign these divorce papers?'

No matter what, it was going to be hard to do this to her. He hadn't lied when he told Meredith he no longer loved his wife, but she had been his family.

There were a lot of memories, a huge chunk of his past that he was about to rip out.  
But it was not enough. His future, the future he wanted, wasn't with Addison. It couldn't be, no matter how strong the ties of marriage were.

His future, his only future, was Meredith.

Meredith.

He smiled as her face filled his mind. He couldn't quite place why he loved her so much. It was her tiny, ineffectual fists, the smell of her hair, her bossiness- and so much more.

It was the way she laid her heart out for him, and still tried to be friends with him after he had destroyed it.

It was the funny lop-sided grin she gave him every morning.

It was the way she collapsed when it all got too much, and let him comfort her, in a supply closet.

It was the way she did all that, and still made him feel so special when she spoke to him.

Like he was the only other person in the world, and she was happy to be there with him.

It was those thoughts that steeled his mind as he heard Addison pull up outside the trailer.

Tonight. This was it. He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. Then he opened them, and turned to face Addison as she walked in the door.

"We need to talk"

"Wait! Hold the door!" Meredith cried, racing towards the elevators. A hand reached out and stopped the doors, just as she reached them.

"Thanks" She said, jumping in. It was only then that she realised she was alone with Derek and Addison.

The tall red head looked tired, and her eyes were red. She stood stiffly, ignoring both the intern and her husband.

Derek looked just as tired, but his eyes were clear and filled with something like peace. He smiled gently at Meredith.

She smiled back, but stayed just as silent. As if by decree, they did not speak, until Addison got off on her floor.  
The woman looked back and the doors were closing, her eyes filling once more with tears, but she nodded to Meredith.

It was more than Meredith had expected. Like her blessing- well, not blessing, but her acceptance and acknowledgment of fate.

Meredith nodded back, feeling a rush of sadness that she not anticipate. She felt for this woman, her 'enemy', even as she realised she had 'won'.

"She's just like me", she thought. "In love, and unable to do anything about it."

Derek stayed silent as the elevator continued up. He did look at Meredith, though, a smile tugging at his mouth.  
She looked back, "What's so funny?"

He shrugged. "Nothing. Everything. This is a new day."

"I gather- you told her?"  
"Yes. It was- odd. I felt calm. I think I accepted this a while ago, and did all my grieving then. She hasn't." He added quietly.

Meredith nodded. She stayed quiet.

"So... six more days of freedom. How you feeling?"

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "Six days of freedom? What?"

Derek smiled. "Til you pick me. Then there's no escaping me- you'll be trapped."

Meredith smiled, then tried to hide it. "How very stalker-ish. Are you going to lock me in your basement and make me put on moisturiser so you dont have to use the hose?"

Derek stared blankly, then laughed. "Oh- Silence of the Lambs. Very funny." He said dryly.

Meredith grinned. "I try.' Then she remembered she was trying to stay rationale, and not chose him, at least til he proved his worth- his love.

She frowned at him. 'I'm not talking to you."

"Since when? Why?"

"Since now- and because I have to. I mean I have to not. Or do. I- damnit. What am I saying?"

Derek chuckled. "By the way, I have my rough draft of my speech. You wanna read it?"

"No! And I really am not talking to you. Go away."

He looked around the small steel box. "Ah- where?"

Meredith growled. "Just- just be quiet. I'm keeping a distance. Drawing a line."

He grinned. "Oh, I remember this. I like this. I keep a marker in my pocket for more moments like this."  
Meredith glared at him, then sighed with relief as the doors opened.

She fled, partly because of Derek, and his damn McDreamy grin, and partly because she was running late.  
"I'll give you that marker later, then, hey?" She heard him call.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Five:

Meredith was scubbing in for a surgery with Bailey later that day. The short woman glanced at her as she washed her hands.

"And just what are you smiling about, girl? Don't tell me you've finally got something to be happy about"  
Meredith bit her lip, mildly angry with herself for smiling. You're not meant to be happy yet! she scolded herself silently.

"Ah, just grateful to have this opportunity to work with you, Dr. Bailey."

The older woman snorted and shook her head. "Damn suck-ups" She muttered. Meredith followed her into the OR.  
An hour later she was elbow deep in entrails, watching as Bailey carefully repaired the woman. She saw movement in the corner of her eye, and glanced up.

There was Derek, in the veiwing room above, grinning almost manically at her. She tried to shoo him with her eyes, but he merely sat down and procceeded to stare at her thoughtfully. Bailey noticed her intern's distraction, and glanced up too.

"Grey! Let's pretend that moron isn't sitting up there, wasting his damn time, and focus on your work. I'm going to let you finsih this up- if you think you can focus."

Meredith started. "Yes, Dr. Bailey. I mean, i can Dr. Bailey. Er- Thank you Dr. Bailey!"  
Bailey glared at her. "Shut up."

"Yes Dr. Bail-" Meredith focused on closing the surgery.

As Meredith was scubbing her hands, Bailey walked into the room. She stared intently at the intern for an while, making Meredith nervous.

"I don't know what's going on with you, or with Sheppard- but whatever it s- I wanna be the first to know. This is going to mess with my day, and my interns, and you know I hate people messing with me. So just as soon as your little love life is sorted out- you coming running to me, Grey. Or I will make your day hell. Are we clear?"

Meredith nodded. "Crystal."  
Bailey shooed her out. "Go do those labs, Grey" Merdith smiled as she walked out. The Nazi cared.

"I need those results back ASAP. They're for the Nazi' She told the lab tech. Turning around, she crashed into the one person she didn't want to see.

"Addison."  
"Meredith". The red head looked the picture of professionality. Gone were the red eyes and tired skin. Meredith desperatly loked around, wanting to escape the woman's gaze.

"Meredith, I just wanted to say-" She paused, her face wavering. "Just wanted to say I'm sorry. And- and I forgive you."  
Meredith stared. Sorry? Forgive? Addison?

The doctor sighed. "I'm sorry for keeping you from Derek- and I forgive you for loving what I thought was mine."  
Meredith's eyes filled with tears. "Addison, no, I'm sorry. So very very sorry."

Addison nodded. "Back to work, Dr. Grey. You have patients."

Meredith nodded, and all but bolted. Turning a corner, she crashed into somebody. "Damnit, i have to stop doing this. I'm so sorr- Derek!"

He stared at her, a half-smile on his lips. "Never mind. What did you mean, have to stop?"

Meredith shrugged, not wanting to explain, not to him, of all people. "Never mind, yourself. What are you doing- and why the hell were you watching me in surgery?"

"Can't I look at you anymore?"  
"In surgery? With Bailey?"

"Ok, not one of my smoothest moves. I was re-writing my speech. I needed inspiration"

Well, go get you inspiration elsewhere. I'm trying to focus on my job."

"And I'm a distraction?" He grinned.

Meredith scowled at him. Just then Bailey walked around the corner.

"I'll have those tests done right away, Dr. Sheppard."

"Thank you, Dr. Grey. Ah, Dr. Bailey. Wonderful to see you!"  
Bailey glared at both of them.

"You're in my way."

They both scrambled, in opposite directions.

"Damn suck-ps" She muttered, continuing on her way.

Meredith walked along the corridor, and heard someone running behind her. It was Derek.  
"I lost her!" He grinned.  
"Who?"

"Bailey, of course. We can continue our discussion."

"No.. i'm not talking to you, Not for six more days."

"More like, five and a bit."

"What?"

"Ha, made you talk."

"Derek, you sound like a five year old."

"I know you are, but what am i?"

"I'm walking away. This is pathetic."

"You're pathetic" He called out cheerfully as she left. A few passing people stared at her.

"Great. Just great!" She groaned.

Christina ran up to her. "Guess who just operated on a heart!"

"George. right?"

Christina glared. "hahaha"

They walked into the locker room. "You off now?" Meredith asked.

"Yup- you too?"

"Not for an hour. I was justing getting my replacement battery for my pager." She opened her locker, and a small package fell out.

"What the...?"

She upwrappped it. Inside was a black marker. A fold piece of paper was attachemtn. She opened it.  
"Draw the line, any line. I won't cross it- if you don't. Love, me"

Christina read it over her shoulder.

"Mer- no way. McDreamy? Seriously?"

Meredith shrugged, defensive. "what?"

Christina leveled a gaze at her. "Hmm. What? I'll tell you what- he's married!"

"Not for long. They signed."

Christina's mouth dropped open.

"Well. There goes my line of arguement. You getting back with the bastard?"

"I don't know. I've given him a week- to prove that he loves me. that he picks me."

Christina shrugged. "Who am I to talk? I'm living with an attending. Just make sure he knows I will kick his cute little ass to hell if he screws you over."

Meredith smiled. "Thanks, Christina."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six:

Three days. Damnit. Derek stepped out of the shower, a frown on his face. He glanced at the pile of paper on the bathroom vanity. Those pages were becoming as precious as gold, and as loathed as getting up early on a frosty morning. He dressed slowly, still glaring at the pages.

"I hate you. I really do. Hate you in a really big, want to set you on fire, throw you in the bin, shred you to pieces, sort of hate you." He groaned. "Great, now I'm even talking in speeches." He paused. "By myself. In my trailer. Dear god, im threatening paper."

He snatched the offending pages up, and stalked out to the kitchen area. Without thinking, he picked up the phone and started dialling.

"Hello?" Came the sleepy voice. What time was it, Derek thought, eying the clock. Ah. 4:30am.  
"Ah- hi."

"Derek?" Meredith sounded concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to say it's official. You have sent me insane. How am I supposed to top your speech?"

She began to laugh. Derek felt indignant.

"It's not funny! I'm talking to paper! Threatening, even. In my bathroom!"

"I'd feel sorry for you, if it wasn't your fault." She paused. "Am I worth it?"

Derek felt shocked. "Are you worth it? Are you worth it? Yes! You- hang on. No. You have to wait three days for this. Unless you're giving in and accepting the inevitable?"  
"Nope. I can wait. What's three days?"

"Long enough to have me sent to the psych ward. You'll pay for this."

"I always like being threatening early in the morning."

There was laughter in her voice, and his reply caught in his throat. This was why he loved her. Moments like these.

"Goodbye, Derek. I'll see you at work."

"Yes. I'll be in psych if you're looking for me."

She laughed, and hung up. Derek grinned at the phone for a while, then picked up the papers with renewed vigour. He knew exactly what to write now.

"Grey! Yang! Stevens! Karev! O'Mall- Where's George?"  
Bailey glared round at her interns.

"I'm here! I'm her- woah-oh!" George crashed through the door, and straight into Bailey. She stared at him, unamused.

"O'malley. Lucky you. You're with me today. Yang, Burke's waiting. Stevens, the she-Shepherd. Karev, the pit. Grey, go find Shepherd."

Alex groaned. "I show up on time, and don't try to bowl you over, why am I in the pit?"

"Move, Karev!"

The interns shuffled out, Meredith already fighting to keep a smile off her face. Bailey stared intently at her. "Grey. I wanna see you when Shepherd gets a chance to let you go."

"Yes, Dr.Bailey." She smiled carefully, and hurried away.

"Damn suck-ups. Why do I bother?"

George smiled at her, clueless. "Because you want to teach us to be really great surgeons, and save lots of lives and-"  
"O'Malley! Shut it!"

She stalked off, leaving George to trot after her.  
"Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith poked her head into a patient's room. Derek smiled at her, eyes lighting up.

"Dr. Grey. This is Dave Winters. Mr Winters, Meredith here is going to take care of you. Trust me, she's very good. Your surgery is in two hours."

The man nodded, giving Meredith a smile.

"Mr. Winters, I'm just going to run these labs down, then I'll be back in an hour to get you ready. Are you feeling ok?"

"yes, I'm fine."

"Good. Page me if you need anything."

Derek and Meredith stepped out of the room together. Derek lent into her ear, whispering.

"So...looking forward to Thursday?"

"Thursday? What's so special about Thursday?" She grinned at the look of fake-hurt on Derek's face.

"I'm crushed. Really, I am. Hey- got a maker?"

Meredith laughed. "No, I left it at home. Thank you. I'm sure it will come in handy."

"I doubt it. No-self control. It's sad. You couldn't stay on your side of the line if you tried."

A discreet cough interrupted them. It was Addison.  
"Derek, I need a consult. Am I- interrupting?"  
"No, no. We were-"

"Just discussing a patient." Meredith finished. God, this was awkward.

Addison nodded. "Of course. And, um, Derek. Mark's here. On a case."

Derek nodded, expressionless. "Ok. Well, Meredith, you better go get those labs done. Meet me back here in 20 minutes, ok?"

She nodded, and bolted. Addison stared after her for a moment. "You really love her, don't you?" There was a soft wistfulness to her voice.

Derek looked at the ground. "Yeah," He said softly. "yeah, I do."

Addison shook herself. "Right. Well, the patient's in room 4003. Let me know the results?"

"Of course." He watched her walk away. He was surprised at the way she was taking this. Aside from a few tears and pleas to keep trying, she had accepted the divorce calmly. He almost felt that something was going to go wrong. No, he thought, she's an adult. This is fine.

Addison walked through the hospital, thinking. Divorce. Derek didn't love her anymore. She couldn't believe it. She'd forgiven Meredith, openly, but sometimes, she hated her. Wanted to hurt her. What has she got that I don't? I love him. He married me. Why couldn't I keep him?

She thought back to the conversation she'd had with Mark. He'd told her everything she wanted to know about Ellis Grey's surgery. It was a risky procedure. And Meredith didn't know.

It was something to do with the program Meredith had put her in. Addison frowned. This was going to hurt Meredith, if her mother died. How would Derek react? Especially if he found out that she'd known about it.

She remembered the look on his face, whispering in the intern's ear. Love.

No, she wouldn't warn them. She was going to be adult, but only to a point. Helping out the woman her husband left her for- that was going too far. For anyone.


End file.
